i am half cherokee, i live a quiet life, i love love my kids, the rural life and all that entails....
surround me with trees, let me see no houses, and i am happy. I think i was born too late; I can really picture myself
living the primitive life forever. I have certainly had enough practice, spent good chunk of my early 20's living primitively,
and digging deeper and deeper into the woods. I am an old soul....there's so much more, but when you have to
fit your life into a box, things get left out...i have flown solo most of my life, and been blessed to live in a state like Maine,
where my children could grow up to be free, wandering, happy spirits. so it's me and my two children, we got each other through
good and bad, happy and sad, and always poorer than richer.....found some true friends along the way, met a man i thought the
world revolved around, just to find out he fell in love with a friend i love very dearly. honesty here is good. i have stumbled back
from the deep black abyss that i had fallen into, only to find i needed to have been there to find a whole new life, my life,
and start over again. it's not always an easy thing to do, start over. each time you get hurt, you lose a little trust, faith in human beings,
but as long as you don't give up, you can get there. i did. love is funny. love is wonderful. love can be the hugest betrayal. ...but love can
be elusive after a few times....we're not hoping so hard, looking that actively, we become our own person. we don't NEED love now,
we WANT it in our lives.......i live solely through my heart. my kids.....what can i say about them? i love them more that i would have
ever thought it was possible to love. it's so deep it hurts sometimes; but in a good way. my later teenage years i fell in love with hiking
and mountain climbing...it was my challenge to myself....and oh the feeling when one finally makes it to the top...the air is crisp,
the breezes blow, we are free, free like a bird when we make it to the top.......and then take off the shoes and run back down like a child...
hopping from rock to rock. yea, people look...i know any judgment on their part has to at least partly be the desire to strip off their shoes
and socks and be free too....at least i didn't miss my chance. a parent dies. life changes again...the pain of a person who loses part of
the creator of them. my father left the world at 88, quietly, and lost in his own head, like so many others. i could see him moving on
long before he crossed over...people, i think, know when it's time to go...the pain is still great; and we wrestle with unresolved issues,
feel guilty, angry, but still full of love...and we start our life over again...with a piece of us missing. what more can i say?
i love to be hugged, i love the true-ness of the people i know, and i am blessed to have them in my life. and always, there is love....
waiting in the shadows, perhaps, but waiting somewhere for me....

so much time has passed, and an update is long overdue...soon i will continue the story...as words come to me...